Category Archives: Memorial

Polchinski Memorials Honored

Polchinski Memorials Honored

HOW hosted its 17th-annual “In Celebration” gala on September 27 at Westchester Country Club in Rye. The evening honored Joan and Michael Ciaramella, proprietors, Polchinski Memorials Inc., and Michael J. Palumbo, M.D., chief medical officer and executive vice president, White Plains Hospital, for their dedicated support of the organization and its mission.

Asian Funeral Flowers

One of our most cherished traditions in the US is the practice of sending flowers to a funeral or memorial service to let family and friends know that we care and are thinking of them. However, it is challenging to know what kinds of flowers are the most appropriate for the family. Asian cultures, including Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Vietnamese and Korean, have unique religious and cultural traditions and beliefs and there are customs and practices which differ within those religions. In Asian funerals, the color of the flowers is important. Usually, white flowers are typically the safest and best choice. Yellow chrysanthemums are also a traditional funeral flower when honoring the Japanese, Korean and Chinese cultures.

In the Chinese culture, fresh cut flowers are appreciated but artificial flowers are acceptable as well. White or yellow lilies and chrysanthemums, as well as white roses, are excellent choices. In Korean funerals, flowers are usually sent by businesses and organizations which typically send large flower stands with flowing ribbons and white chrysanthemums are usually the most appropriate flowers to send.

Flowers are generally not a significant element of a Japanese funeral. However, if you want to send flowers, white and yellow lilies and chrysanthemums are an excellent choice. In Japanese culture, ‘koden’ is a better sympathy expression than flowers. ‘Koden’ is a gift of money that is given to help the family alleviate funeral expenses. Large funeral wreaths called ‘hanawa’ are sometimes sent and customarily burned or cremated along with the body. It is wise to be aware that there are three major religions common in Asian cultures including Buddhist, Hindu and Muslim. In the Buddhist religion, red is considered to be inappropriate because it is color that is usually associated with joy. Although flowers may be an important component of Hindu funeral tradition, it is not customary to send them to the family. There are several schools of thought relating to sending flowers to a Muslim family, so the wisest course of action is to speak with the family.

Polchinski Memorials in Hawthorne, New York is well known for its sensitivity and respect for every culture. We have been helping families decide on the best way to memorialize their loved ones for over 135 years. Regardless of what kind of headstone or monument you want, what religion you practice and what countries your ancestors were born, we can help you make the best choice to pay homage to your loved one. Please call us for more information at 914-984-4198 or 203-413-1345. You can also email us at info@polchinskimemorials.com.

How to Choose the Perfect Eulogy

The loss of a loved one is never easy. There are myriad decisions to be made and if you are choosing to have a funeral or memorial for your family member, one important decision is the right person to deliver the eulogy. For most people, writing and delivering a eulogy is a deeply emotional experience. If you are thinking about a specific person for a funeral or memorial, it’s important to let that person know that you are considering them in case they are uncomfortable with this responsibility.

Family members, clergy, funeral conductors and friends are usually tasked with delivering eulogies at memorials. At religious funerals, it is usually the clergy that delivers the eulogy, although others may be able to eulogize, or speak lovingly about your loved one. The number of speakers is up to the person responsible for the memorial. If it is a religious ceremony, the main eulogy is delivered by the clergy member that officiates the service. While a eulogy can be more formal, other speakers can also share anecdotes, say prayers, recite poems and tell stories about your loved one.

Eulogy topics can be as varied as the loved one themselves. The focus can be on the deceased individual’s religious faith, professional life, hobbies and artistic interests, or their personal life. Many people share their memories of the deceased and tell stories about their interactions and relationship with that person over the years. You might want the speaker to choose the content of the eulogy, or you may want to suggest a topic. It’s important to prepare the person who has been chosen to deliver the eulogy ahead of time to let them know what you would like to hear at the memorial. Sometimes humor can go a long way in alleviating the sadness and ‘heaviness’ that is usually present during a funeral or memorial service. If this is uncomfortable for you, let the person you have chosen to deliver the eulogy know that and suggest some topics that you feel are more appropriate.

Polchinski Memorials understands the emotional and financial parameters of planning a funeral of memorial. Our compassion and sensitivity is well known throughout the area. We have been in business for decades and can give you the valuable advice and guidance necessary for making the important decision of choosing the right memorial and the perfect eulogy for your loved one. Please call us for more information at 914-984-4198 or 203-413-1345. You can also email us at info@polchinskimemorials.com.

Eight Suggestions to Help Someone Who is Grieving

When we hear that someone we know has suffered a terrible loss, we immediately want to help. However, many of us don’t know what to say or do. Sometimes this results in saying nothing to the person at all. Below are twelve suggestions relating to how to support and help a grieving person in a constructive way during their time of need. Remember that grief is an intensely individual experience, so patience and understanding will go a long way.

  1. Acknowledge what happened and express your concern.
  2. Offer support. If you don’t know what to say, simply tell them you care.
  3. Accept and acknowledge their feelings.
  4. Be willing to sit in silence.
  5. Allow the mourner to talk about their loved one and how they died.
  6. Offer comfort and reassurance without minimizing the loss.
  7. Listen with compassion.
  8. Allow the grieving person to openly express themselves, but only if they want to.
  9. Continue the support for as long as the mourner needs.
  10. Be sensitive to the fact that life may never be the same again for them.
  11. Offer extra support on anniversary dates, birthdays, holidays and other special days.
  12. 12. Be proactive by offering to help the grieving person with day-to-day activities,

including:

  • Shopping for groceries, running errands, doing housework and laundry
  • Helping with funeral arrangements
  • Staying with them to take phone calls and receive guests and visitors
  • Helping with insurance forms and billing issues
  • Watching their children or picking them up for school
  • Driving them where they need to go and looking after their pets
  • Going with them to a support group or taking a walk with them
  • Taking them to a lunch and movie
  • Sharing a fun activity such as a sport, game, puzzle or art project

Remember that your support may be needed for months. Stay in touch and check in. Once the initial shock has worn off, your support will be even more important.

Polchinski Memorials’ compassion and sensitivity is well known throughout the tri-state area. We have been in business for decades, so we are able to give you the necessary and valuable advice and guidance for choosing the right memorial for your loved one. Please call us for more information at 914-984-4198 or 203-413-1345. You can also email us at info@polchinskimemorials.com.

Getting Stuck in the Grieving Process

Most of us have had the experience of watching someone we care about grappling with the grieving process. It can become challenging to comfort someone and come up with the perfect thing to say when you understand the depth of this individual’s unhappiness. There are three major therapies that address this situation and for someone who has been grieving for a long time, seeing a therapist or counselor may be the best way to proceed.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a psycho-social intervention that is the most widely used practice for improving mental health. CBT focuses on the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems and changing unhelpful patterns in cognitions, e.g. thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes, and behaviors. When we fixate on thoughts about our loved one, we keep them alive in our minds. These ideas shut down the possibility of feeling better and assure us that we do not have to give up the deceased person. For many whose grief seems overwhelming, death signifies an end of life rather than a life change, an intolerable experience rather than one we should work through and manage, and a meaningless event rather than one that is full of meaning. Changing our irrational thoughts to rational thoughts takes the reality of the loss into full awareness.

Exposure Therapy: Sometimes people who are grieving exclude events from the past and thoughts about the future that do not include the person who has died. Exposure therapy exposes the grieving person to all the people and events that make up their lives. It’s important to mark out specific times just for grieving whenever possible. It’s also a good idea to remove reminders of the deceased person so you become able to break the habits that keep you stuck in the grieving process.

Meaning Therapy: The grief process forces us to make sense of the death through our existing understanding and beliefs about death. For example, you may believe that “God’s will” is the reason that the person is gone from your life. We can learn to live with the loss by deepening our understanding of life in its entirety, and realizing that going forward, you will need to stand on your own two feet without the benefit of your loved one’s physical presence.

If someone in your life is grieving, never tell them to ‘snap out of it.’ It takes time and skill, and sometimes the help of a mental health professional, to help them face their loss and learn to find hope for the future. Polchinski Memorials’ compassion and sensitivity is well known throughout the area. We have been in business for decades, so we are able to give you the valuable advice and guidance necessary for making the important decision of choosing the right memorial for your loved one. Please call us for more information at 914-984-4198 or 203-413-1345. You can also email us at info@polchinskimemorials.com.

Slide: How to Choose the Right Memorial

Choosing the right memorial for yourself or a loved one can be challenging. There are many questions to ask yourself when you are making this kind of decision that will help you narrow down the available choices. You should ask yourself who the memorial is for, whether it is for a family or a single person, and what your budget is. Polchinski Memorials Inc. has been in business for over 100 years and can provide you with valuable guidance and advice in making this important decision. Call 914-984-4198. You can also email info@polchinskimemorials.com.


How to Choose the Right Memorial

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How to Choose the Right Memorial

Cemetery memorial stone

Choosing the right memorial for yourself or a loved one can be challenging. There are many questions to ask yourself when faced with this kind of decision that will help you narrow down the available choices. They are:

  • Who is the memorial for? A memorial is frequently used as a place to grieve for your loved one and is the place where friends and family will come to visit you. The memorial should provide comfort and peace for every person who comes there.
  • Is it for a family or one person? Many people find comfort in the thought that they will be buried, and therefore reunited after death, with their family. If there is no room for additional family members, this will not be possible.
  • What will the memorial look like? There are many options to choose from so this is an important decision. Speaking with a professional is the best way to proceed. Cemeteries commonly have rules and regulations regarding the kinds of memorials they allow.
  • Where do you want the memorial to be located? If you have lived in different places in your lifetime, or your families and friends currently live in different parts of the country, you may decide to be buried where your ancestors were buried. Regardless of what you think happens after you die, your grave is the place where others come to think of you.
  • What do you want your memorial to say? If you choose to customize the text on your memorial marker, decide on what you would like to engrave. It may be a quote from a favorite poem, a line from your favorite book or simply your nickname for the person who has died.
  • What is your budget? Prices vary depending upon several factors. Making sure that this is taken care of in advance will save your family from unexpected bills. It’s important to leave your family with some guidance as to how you would like to be remembered after your death.

Polchinski Memorials has been in business for over 100 years and can provide you with valuable guidance and advice in making this important decision. Please call us for additional information at 914-984-4198 or 203-413-1345. You can also email us at info@polchinskimemorials.com.

Prevent Damage to a Granite Memorial While Moving or Installing

Granite is durable, but brittle and easily damaged. If an object strikes the polished surface, then the finish may become dull or scratched. If the wood boards used as spacers have dirt, sand, staples or bent nails in them, then they may scratch the polished surfaces.

Tips to Prevent Damage to a Granite Memorial While Moving or Installing

  • While moving a granite memorial, move it on the unexposed surfaces.
  • Before installing a granite memorial, keep it away from oil or metal that could rust.
  • If the memorial leans against something, wipe it with a cloth and place a softwood spacer board under and in between each granite piece.
  • Take care to protect the polished faces, exposed edges and corners.
  • Anyone who handles the memorial should be properly trained in lifting.
  • While installing a granite memorial, always place it on a soft bed of sand.
  • While installing a granite memorial, remove the dirt around and under the vase holes that are cored through the granite marker or bronze base.

Monuments in Hawthorne, NY

Polchinski Memorials, a monument provider in Hawthorne, NY helps families create highly personalized family memorials. They guarantee their products, and design the memorial according to your budget and needs. If you want to create a family memorial, then call 203-413-1345.